The Betterment of the Well: Finding power in releasing control and discovering purpose with Heather Smolin
Several years ago, colleagues of Heather Smolin, Beckley Retreats alumna and a tenured HR professional, suggested she look into her then-company’s offerings for therapy. She was grateful and curious about the experience, as the employee benefit was an easy way to explore what therapy might look like.
“You’ll find I’m just such a curious person,” Heather said in a discussion with Beckley Retreats Executive Advisor Val-Pierre Genton at our second Beckley Talks event on March 27. “I really believe that for me, therapy is self-care. And once I came back from Beckley, there was nothing but breakthroughs in my therapy.”
Heather shared her story as part of our ongoing Beckley Talks series, a live monthly discussion where the Beckley Retreats team comes together to showcase world-class facilitators, visionary leaders, and alumni participants of our programming. Whether you’re interested in attending one of our upcoming retreats or you’re looking to unlock peak performance, these Beckley Talks provide a platform to discover ways to lead a healthier, more meaningful life.
This latest event, titled “The Betterment of the Well,” focused on Heather’s path to psychedelics and her first retreat in Jamaica in June 2023. The very idea of ‘being better’ or ‘wellness’ are terms often conflated with notions around the concept of ‘normalcy,’ especially as it relates to managing mental illness, chronic illness, disabilities, and neurodiversity. But rather than promote or suggest these ideas, this event on ‘the betterment of the well’ focused on how lived experiences have led people to a place of generally feeling good.
Heather’s struggles with finding purpose in her job, as well as feeling energized to take on each new day, is reflected in a broader ecosystem of balancing work and life. Up to 70% of C-suite executives have considered quitting their jobs to find one better suited to their mental health and wellbeing, according to Forbes Magazine. And this comes as over four million American workers quit their jobs each month in 2022. Wanting to “feel better” is almost universal, but how do we get there?
When Heather looks back on the year leading up to her attending a retreat, she returns time and again to one word: alignment––or, really, misalignment.
“It’s that inner voice inside of me that just felt a little off,” she said. “I was out of alignment with myself, out of alignment with my values, with my belief system.”
Despite identifying this general feeling, it was difficult to pinpoint why or how Heather felt off with her path. “I was just rushing through life,” she told the audience, “This unsustainable go, go, go.”
Heather says that looking back on time, she now smiles––for the overwhelming sense of emotion and challenge she felt was the impetus for a new chapter, one that included slowing down and taking stock of the obstacles holding her back.
It was Heather’s husband who first suggested that they look into psychedelic retreats. Curious as ever, Heather was excited with the idea––but that didn’t mean the voice within her was ready. Could she take time off work? Could she press pause her life back home?
Curiosity, however, got the better of Heather––and soon she discovered Beckley Retreats.
“It just became a no-brainer,” Heather said. “Why wouldn’t I do something like this?
Leading up to Heather’s retreat in Jamaica, she followed along with the four-week preparation program designed by the Beckley team. It was through these preparation calls with facilitators and her cohort of fellow participants that Heather began to hone in on her intentions for this experience.
“Rigidity and control were my BFFs,” Heather recalls. “They helped me feel safe and functioning because if I could control something…then that was good.”
But what would her life, her relationships, and her work all look like if she let even a sliver of this control go?
“Checking the box feels amazing, but sometimes you don’t stop to smell the roses or connect or do those things that make us human,” Heather says.
It came down to listening to her intuition, a skill she’s still learning. Working with integration coaches following her retreat experience, Heather found that embracing the unknown and trusting her inner voice was easier when she leaned on support and community.
“I really stepped into this unknown––the fear of the unknown, the fear of success, fear of failure,” she said.
In the six weeks following her retreat in Jamaica, Heather relied on support from her cohort of fellow participants to identify a new, less rigid path forward. Together, this group asked themselves questions like, what do we want to integrate into our lives? What is important to us?
For Heather, she realized the importance of getting back into nature.
“The induction of nature and community in Jamaica was so profound I didn’t even want to leave,” she said. “I graduated high school, I graduated college, I was on sports teams, I’ve left jobs, but I’ve never been so sad to leave a group in my life…[This cohort] was something that fed my soul.”
Heather recalls how this integration process was about taking care of herself––sleeping well, eating well, nourishing herself, and moving her body. Rather than focus on drastic change, she was advised to think about the small, daily practices that could amount to something bigger down the road.
Only in making these small changes––breathing fresh air, walking her dog on a trail for an hour, nature bathing in the sun––did Heather finally and deeply connect with her intuition. Then, she was ready for change.
Heather was able to take a break from her job, stepping away from her corporate HR position. In embracing this break from the fast-paced, checklist-oriented way of life, she found the space to continue her search for rejuvenation.
“My intuition was so strong, telling me to move on,” Heather said. “It was really hard for me to do that, but I have to thank the plant medicine because I had a shift in perspective about slowing down and taking care of myself.”
These days, Heather is back on the job hunt––but unlike even a year ago, she feels stronger and healthier as she approaches this next chapter.
Heather is far from alone in this process, and Val-Pierre Genton chimed in on a similar experience of reframing as he continues to try and implement a slower approach to his decision-making.
“Slow is smooth and smooth is fast,” Val said at the event on March 27, recalling a phrase he’d heard before and has since carried with him.
Heather keeps returning to this newfound discovery of a voice within her that she can trust and rely on, rather than see it as something set on causing chaos or leaving her feeling out of control.
“I’m so glad I listened [to myself] because if I didn’t, I don’t know what state of affairs I’d be in right now,” she said. “I was completely misaligned and not living the life I should be living.”
